Ian Bakes: White Chip Macadamia Nut Cookies

"I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies..." (Hilary Clinton)

   I’ve always been interested in seeing how homemade white chocolate chips macadamia nut cookies would turn out. For the uninitiated, (and non-allergic) said cookies constitute the most delicious variety of cookie that you can get from Subway, or most functions catered by Aramark. These cookies lack the sweetness of chocolate chips but make up for it with the flavourings of the macadamia nut. The challenge of making these cookies is that their main ingredients: white chocolate chips and the nuts aren’t something you just keep around the house very often.

   I found myself with white chocolate chips after superstore had their decadent series of chips on sale one week. I wasn’t sure how good they would be, but a few weeks ago I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies for a match of Twilight Imperium (which I regretfully forgot to document for blogging purposes) and ran out of chocolate chips and had to substitute a cup of white chips. They turned out pretty good working in tandem with the darker chocolate (I generally don’t like white chocolate anything) so I figured I’d try making them the star attraction. 

   The first challenge was securing a bag of macadamia nuts. I knew that it is a premium nut, but I did not know it was $13/pound premium. When I’m at the store and see that price I thought ‘man that is expensive, but surely if I fill this tiny bag it will only be a dollar or two’ I couldn’t have been more wrong. With my $5, 200g bag of macadamia nuts in hand I had all the ingredients needed for these blessed cookies, or so I thought…

   A quick Google search revealed to me a recipe that claimed would provide me with the fabled subway cookies. I didn’t know whether they would turn exactly the same as the sub slinging chain, but I was determined to try. The recipe used will once again be featured at the end of this post.

   I gathered all the ingredients together when I discovered a slight error. When the recipe called for one pound of butter I thought it was one cup. The margarine I was using comes in ½ cup cubes and I had two left, no problem right? Until I realized that I was about 1 cup short. On top of the fact that I had to grapple with making cookies that may actually be worse for your health than the kind at Subway, I also faced delays in my cookie making. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem but I was making these cookies for the students I was working the extended late shift on Saturday, so the delays would mean no bounty of cookies to bring!

It's like the action force of obesity!

   Once again I took to the Internet (which is generally my co-chef in these endeavors, as well as my unit converter and my crowd-sourced review of recipes, it goes quite a ways in making me a competent chef) to solve my dilemma. It determined that in a pinch, shortening could be used as a substitute for butter or margarine (although usually it is the other way around), all I had to do was add a bit of water. This is because shortening is fat or oil (usually derived from vegetable nowadays to save arteries) and margarine is just fat plus water essentially. I decided this would be the solution, but I confirmed with my Mom just to be sure. She consulted with my Aunt and between the two of them they have like 60 years of baking experience and they figured I could throw in the shortening, but without water, although they both balked at the amount of butter the recipe was demanding. Satisfied that I was in the cooking right, I proceeded to substitute in some shortening, although I defied my relative’s suggestion to not add water because the all mighty Crisco box suggested I should, and I figured a company that’s been making shortening for 50 years might know best.

   For once I decided to follow the recipe step by step. Usually I just take the ingredient list and the general idea of how they want me to make it and go to town. I hadn’t made these cookies before I wanted to be more conservative in my baking process. In doing this however, I subjected myself to a number of ridiculous steps, usually in the pursuit of ‘creaming’ the dough.

   Before I could start anything though, I had to get my measure of shortening.  I can only imagine that baking companies are run by sadists, because instead of portioning your shortening into usable sizes, they throw in a useless ruler and tell you to cut it yourself. This makes the default size of shortening the massive one pound block. This is either proof that big baking is trying to make everyone fat, or that marketing companies think that home baking is done by people with way too much time on their hands. Add that to the fact that the block takes up all the packaging space and only part of the shortening has a wax paper sleeve, and you’re going to end up getting some shortening on you unless you have the precision of a bomb defuser.

Closer... Closer... no wait! Now you're going to have 3/7ths! You've doomed us all!

   Then comes creaming the butter, which I don’t know if anyone has tried this by hand but it is terrible. You take some softened butter/margarine/shortening and you stir it around and around until it is an amorphous buttery blob that sticks to all corners of your bowl. I don’t know who thought this was a good starting point for baking, but it always terrifies me. I’m looking at all these nice ingredients and the first thing I do is to create this blob of fat that battles with me for control of the spoon I’m stirring with. I feel like I’m tampering with the laws of nature.

It hungers... for more ingredients

   The next step was to add to sugar, which turns the butter blob into more recognizable dough, but also gives it the power of a small child when it comes to who controls the stirring spoon. There are times that I thought I was going to lose the spoon to the dough and it would just sink into the bowl like an adventurer into quicksand. 

The more you resist the faster you lose the spoon!

   Then the eggs, vanilla and other wet ingredients are added, which improves the smell of the dough. I’m sure it does countless things to flavour and consistency of the finished product, but in terms of cosmetic effects (which are all you can tell from pictures) it doesn’t do very much. Make sure you don’t get egg shells in your dough, otherwise you’ll be engaged in a battle of wits against your sugary butter concoction over who can hold onto the shells the longest. 

Looking pretty good so far...

   Once all the ‘wet’ ingredients are together, I had to add in the dry, which at this point I already have mixed together in a separate bowl.  ‘But Ian!’ you ask ‘you told us the first step is creaming the butter!’ well I lied because the first thing you should always do when making cookies is combine all your dry ingredients because it’s super easy. In this case I ended up with all the flour because this recipe calls for a ridiculous 4 ¼ cups of flour.

Pictured: All the flour

   With the dry bowl in hand, I added a little bit at a time. This serves two purposes, it keeps flour from poofing everywhere when you try and stir the ingredients together, and it makes it easier to combine the wet and dry. It has the bonus ability to save your sanity, because if this is your first time cooking, then you might think you’ve just ruined your cookies by adding flour. It turns into a horrific, dry and white mess and your wet dough gets all crumbly. What you’re witnessing is a battle of the moist, and your dough should always come out on top.

Oh god what have I done! I've ruined it for sure!

   When it is all doughy again, I thought the struggle was over, but really it had just begun. More flour goes in and the process starts all over again, and every time I thought ‘this is the time it’s all going to fall apart’. In my case I managed to get to the final stage of cookie dough preparation: addition of the tasty bits

It's like

A multi-step

Grieving process

   At this point my arms felt like they were going to fall off, which apparently is just a sign I was doing it properly. For all of those at home with fancy electric blenders you skip past the sore arms trial, but it does not make you a better baker! At this point I had to add in all the tasty bits, in this case macadamia nuts and white chocolate chips. I had to chop up the macadamia nuts but as it turns out it wasn’t too difficult. Apparently one of the features of the $5 bag of macadamia nuts is that they chop up really well.

10 year old me would have had a field day

   Once all the bits are in the dough the only thing left is eating it! This is of course, after a brief stay in the oven. While it is tempting to consume vast quantities of cookie dough when you bake without parental supervision, I’m pretty sure half the joy of doing it is because parents tell you not to. When I’m on my own baking, it just does not have the same appeal.

   My new challenge is to try to make appropriately sized cookies. The last time I tried baking all my cookies ended up really small, which causes you to end up with way to many bite sized cookies to store properly. As well, I attempted to keep them sort of cookie shaped, which is hard when the default shape for cookies on the tray is ‘blobby’

Alternatively they apparently come out heart shaped, but trust me, they do not stay that way.

After their brief trip to the oven, they came out pretty well. Although I don’t know what sort of crazy cookies the recipe designer was making, because the batch was only supposed to make 48, and I ended up with closer to 70 cookies! So follow this one at your risk. Overall though I was pretty happy. 

Not pictured: Deliciousness, becuase they haven't managed a way to transmit that via photo... yet.

 Recipe: http://www.food.com/recipe/subway-white-chocolate-macadamia-nut-cookies-389301

Ian Cooks: Maple Breaded Pork Chops

"I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate" (Julia Child)

I had mentioned when I first started this blog that I wanted a variety of things to write about. One of those things has been cooking/baking. It takes a certain amount of planning however, if you want to blog about food, mainly because you need to have a camera ready. Where I enjoy cooking new things (especially where I'm on my own and food doesn't magically appear cooked at supper time) I tend to get to involved in the cooking process and don't remember about the blogging possibilities until after everything is all done. Taking a picture of the finished product is good proof that I can survive outside of my parents houses without resorting to fast food, but isn't quite as satisfying as documenting the process of taking food parts and making them into delicious meals.

Today I am making Maple Breaded Pork Chops using a recipe found online at food.com (recipe provided at the end of the post). I've made these a number of times already and they always turn out great. So far both Sarah and Geoff have been fans of the finished product, which ends up being a spicy sweet twist on the other white meat.

First off I had to gather all the ingredients. Not only does this provide to organize how much work is going to go into making this meal, it gives you an opportunity to show off all those fancy things you talk yourself into buying at the store thinking you'll use someday. Mainly maple syrup, since it's hard to justify paying $15 a litre unless you talk yourself into thinking you'll use it for cooking rather just smothering pancakes until you're not sure if they exist in a solid or liquid state.

I enjoy that No-Name brand shows up so distinctly for blogging. 'You're never going to guess what the secret ingredient in that tub is!' 'Is it breadcrumbs?' 'Damn it!' 

The original recipe calls for white wine vinegar, salt and pepper, maple syrup, Worcestershire sauce, chili powder, flour and butter, as well as pork chops obviously. I had to make some substitutions from this ingredient list because I lacked some of them. I don't know where you'd find white wine vinegar outside of actually just letting white wine go bad. I suspect the store you would find it in would be staffed by foodies that would tell you 'if you have to ask where it is, you're not allowed to use it'. I don't have chili powder because sadly I haven't tried to make chili yet. I blame this on the catch 22 of why would you ever buy kidney beans if not to make chili, but you never make chili because you don't have any kidney beans in your house. For these two things I use regular white vinegar and Barbados Hot Sauce. The Hot Sauce works particularly well because it adds a kick as well as flavour to the sauce.

To start, you have to add all the wet ingredients into a mixing bowl because that's apparently how every recipe arbitrarily starts. The result will be a sticky, brackish goo with a garnish of hot sauce. I am going to show you what this looks like because every cooking show and website shows you what it will look like once it's mixed but never what it looks like right after you throw everything in. I personally have a moment of fear that I'm never going to mix all the ingredients I've just thrown in into some cohesive substance.

What have you tried to create? Even the mixture expresses its unhappiness at your attempts to cook!

Once you've mixed it all together and gotten most of the hot sauce on the walls of the mixing bowl, then you are ready for the really complicated part.

The first documented case of a food selfie

Now breading the pork chops involves a special process that I'm reasonably sure it two parts witchcraft. No other way can describe how adding some liquid ingredient, flour and bread crumbs causes pork chops to become instantly more delicious (delicious-er?). This magic comes at a cost, it is excessively complicated. This is the fourth time I made these tasty chops and it was the first I managed to complete this eldritch process without making a single error. This feat is known as the three step breading!

I don't think anyone can be prepared for this

Now in a scene that always reminds me of this one, you have to roll the pork chop in the flour, then in the liquid, then finally into the breadcrumbs. I always thought that you'd need to put it in the liquid first but that ends up messing everything up. Through this process I've discovered that flour will stick to just about anything, especially the stuff you don't want it to stick to. The first several times I made these I either started on the wrong step, skipped a step, or did it in the wrong order. This is one of those times where you have a Masters Degree, but are frustrated by what order to coat your pork chops.

First you flour

Then you dip it into the liquid... wait, there is a third step.

In this case, I managed to make the pork chops correctly but failed to document it properly, so the world is deprived of the critical breadcrumb step! I also can't stress this enough, flour will punish your unpreparedness. The first time I made this I just dropped the pork chop onto a pile of flour on the counter, not spread out or anything, just in a mound. Not only is this terribly unsanitary for your preparation space, the flour also erupted in an atomic cloud of mess, getting everywhere. More recently I confine it to a plate and spread it around, while treating it with respect and keeping it from getting all over everything.

It has improved the cleanliness of my cooking space, but not by much.

After all that toil you end up with a delicious looking pork chop that you throw into the oven at 350C for an hour. Right before you do that you eliminate any attempt to eat healthier with your meats by putting some butter on top. This is to preserve the breading and keep it from drying out. Hilariously the first three times I've made this I cut all the ingredients in half (since the original calls for 6-9 pork chops) except the butter, so I'd end up with these enormous mounds of butter on top. I wised up this time and put a more conservative amount on. Although I'm discovering that whenver you put butter onto meat you end up looking like an outrageous hedonist.

Yes, this along with my bacon sundae and hot fudge milkshake should make for a well balanced meal...

Clogged arteries aside, these ends up being quite delicious, definitely a good way to change up a regular old pork chop. They stand up well to being reheated, as that is how I enjoy all my food during the week. I have yet to actually try these fresh out of the oven, but I imagine they would be awesome.

As promised, here is the link to the recipe: http://www.food.com/recipe/breaded-maple-pork-chops-296148. The prep time claims 20 minutes, but once you make them once it can be cut down to about five. It took me about 15 minutes today because I had to stop and take pictures every two minutes.

The Rocks Beneath

“Adventure is worthwhile in itself” (Amelia Earhart)

Excerpt from: The Rocks Beneath

We toured the area in our mechanized transporter. Little did I know what eldritch horrors my travelling companion and I were getting into. The sun beat down with unexpected ferocity, glaring off the sides of dilapidated fishing houses and decaying barns. The primordial earth had heaved during the bitter winter, leaving the roads crumbled and archaic. They had long since left any semblance of cultured civilization and had entered a realm of the province populated only by closed ice cream stands and abandoned RV Parks. I don’t know what fevered dream concocted this adventure, only that nature herself opposed it, shutting down the roads with icy winds and blowing gales of snow the day previous, causing us to reschedule our trip. Once we arrived at Scots Bay, the waves were crashing in on the shore like gnashing teeth waiting to devour our treasure seeking hides. We got out of the car and a strange figure approached us, looking like a woman in plain clothing, she waived and said: ‘Hi!’… Oh what Eldritch Horror I dare not speak of!

   Rockhounding is something that seems new and trendy but apparently is a hobby quite old and storied. Although it may not always have been called such, it is the sport of going to beaches, parks and hillside areas attempting to locate semi-precious stones such as Agates, Amethyst, Jasper and other such materials depending on location. While I don’t really follow the hobby, my excellent friend Geoff is quite heavily invested into the business.

   Geoff has been learning the ins and outs of the gem craft, although focusing on the processing part.  He has possession of the extensive equipment needed for all this, from rock tumblers to this big blade that cuts the gems open and several other tools I don’t really understand but figure are also important. This has been a many year journey for Geoff, and he has recently undertaken interest in the gathering end of rockhounding. While we did stop at a Gem Digging site during our cross-Canada roadtrip, I figured it was more of the novelty and less for the serious collection of stones. The trip taken last week was much different.

   Ease of access to rockhounding sites would not have been one of the perks I would attribute to living in Halifax, Nova Scotia. It has a lovely climate when it’s not alternatively trying to freeze, drown or scorch you out. For a medium sized city it has plenty of greenspace not to mention heritage properties and sites to go visit. If you live and work in the core then you’re never really far from anything. One thing I did not realize was that Nova Scotia is apparently host to some of the most abundant rockhounding areas in Canada. I figured it would be a fun way to spend a morning before work by heading up to one of the beaches and taking a look around.

   Our destination was Scots Bay, a long wind swept beach north of Kentville near the Blomidon Provincial Park. Scots Bay is on the side of the hook of land known as ‘Cape Split’ which is certainly what the land seemed to be doing to the water up in that area. The area sweeps in from Nova Scotia to make a big split in the Bay of Fundy. The area is not only rich in gemstones but also heritage.

There was a lot of snow from the day before, although I imagine it may always look like this

  The Blomidon Peninsula is a basalt ridge (Although not inhabited by Flying Polyps to the best of my knowledge, HPL fans!) that was created during the Jurassic period where primal Nova Scotia (then part of a larger landmass and in no way distinguishable to the modern day province) had active volcanoes. As the lava solidified and compressed it became Basalt and makes up the majority of the landscape in Cape Blomidon. It is due to this Basalt geography that semi-precious stones can be found.

   By the time people came around to settle Nova Scotia (first Native, then European Settlers) the area quickly developed in a community focused on fishing. With easy access to the Bay of Fundy it’s not surprising that small fishing communities existed around the Blomidon area.  Small farms also make up a patchwork quality of the land, as farmers also exploit forest surrounding their properties. When the industrial revolution came to Canada, the area already had several tidal powered grist mills that processed the surrounding lands wheat into flour.

   Today, from what I saw the Blomidon Peninsula area is largely a suburb of Kentville and Wolfville. There were lots of houses but little industry, although there are still plenty of farms up there. We saw an old fishing pier on Scots Bay, but little other evidence that fishing still thrives along that coast.

   Our first attempt on Monday was foiled by bad weather. Although we got as far as Mount Uniacke the blizzard conditions got so bad that we couldn’t see further than maybe a dozen meters ahead of the car. Discouraged, but not defeated, we retired for the rest of the day to play Halo 4 until I had to go to work.

   Tuesday had much better weather and road conditions. While we had a later start we were able to make excellent time after I convinced Geoff that the 102 was a better option than the Bedford Highway (we had taken the latter on Monday since that’s what google said to do). After about an hour of driving we were already in Kentville, the last major settlement before getting to the beach.

Next stop? Adventure! Well, first gas, but then ADVENTURE!

   We met with Rob of Robsrocksshop.com who runs a store featuring his finds from a lifetime of rockhounding out of his house. I’m not sure what time rockhounders start their days but he seemed to be bemused by our general arrival of around 10am. He showed us all sort of stuff he had collected from Scots bay a few days back, and gave us a tour of his store/working area. The outside of his shop was less than inviting, however.

This can't possibly end badly

   He was full of great tips on how to find these semi-precious stones hiding among rocks. My favourite was to ‘walk like you’re standing’ since you’re looking for a single rock among hundreds. Even though the Blomidon Bay area has an abundance of these stones, it still means that you’re looking for 1/100 rather than 1/10000. If you’re just strolling down the way like you’re going for a walk, there is a strong possibility you are going to miss one.

This is where the murder door lead in reality

   Rob himself seems to have a knack of turning the semi-precious stones into something other than jewellery. He had shelves of attractive paperweights and penholders and what turned out to be candleholders.

For the person who needs something to hold their pens AND bludgeon their enemies with

   He also had quite a few pendants and other jewelery hanging around his crowded shop. It seemed that he also uses his space as the primary storage facility. This makes sense when your livelihood involves finding, processing and selling semi-precious gems, but also makes for a crowded working environment. 

Something tells me he's not hanging them there to dry

   Traveling from Kentville to Scots Bay required switchbacking along several secondary highways. As we got further up out of the valley, the wind was starting to pick up. By the time we got there the wind was whipping everything into frenzy. There was a little bridge that crossed a stream that would have been difficult to ford without giant waders to get us across. Rob had mentioned that it was possible to cross at a shallower section down the beach with use of garbage bags. 

Fortunately there were no trolls under that bridge

   Once we got on the beach proper, Geoff was down to business. I was able to focus on collecting gems for the first 30 seconds or so, and then the crashing waves got my attention. Before anyone gets the idea that I have some undiagnosed ADD, it’s just that I was more of an observer on this trip. The concept of gemstones lying in the beach intrigued me, but the process of getting to the beach, meeting Rob and being at the beach was more enticing. With the size of the waves crashing down at the sandbar where the tide and pulled out to, I had to investigate.

Nova Scotia could probably win an award for blandest beaches

   While I would never wade out into the water itself in the middle of winter when the waves promised to sweep any wayward explorer away, the tide was low so it was out quite a ways. I was able to get a good couple of hundred metres away from the high tide line. I was well rewarded, because among the sulking seagulls there was a Mighty Eagle! It was just hanging around, and any reader from my travel blog knows that I can’t resist taking pictures of rare-ish animals in the wild.

Buy now for only 99 cents to solve all pig related issues!

   After satisfying my need to walk almost to the waves (the tide was out, but there was about 3-6 inches of water for another hundred meters or so before you got to the part of the beach where waves were crashing) I returned to see how Geoff was doing. At this point, he had collected what seemed like all the rocks on the beach and was still going for more.

They say a picture speaks 1000 words, but it doesn't do anything for sounds

   We forded the stream where it was shallower, but I still managed to get my boots full of water. Fortunately I had ultimate wool socks so my feet kept warm regardless. I have to say, buying specialty hiking wool socks that retain warmth while wet and quickly dry out are indispensable when going on any wilderness trek, even if you make most of your trekking by car. In my experience, you never know when you’re going to fall into a body of water.

Featured: Why there is a bridge at Scots Bay

   Once across Geoff continued looking for gemstones while I went to work erecting a monument to our great journey to Scots Bay. Again, anyone familiar with my travelling will know when I travel to a wild nature area, I must create some sort of marking that will reasonably weather the elements but will also have a small environmental footprint. I don’t want to gouge my initials into a tree, but I will lean a large piece of driftwood onto another one to make a flagless flagpole of sorts.

I don't think they let you link to the same Canada Heritage Minute video twice under the same blog handle

   That accomplished, we moved down to barnacle rock, named so for its abundance of the sea creature attached to it. It could easily have been named clam murder cove, as close by there were numerous dead clam shells. What was curious was that they weren’t broken as if birds had dashed their bodies against rocks, it looks like there was a coordinated effort for the clams to surface and then all die from exposure. Perhaps it was the Jonestown cult of clams in our very own Scots Bay, NS.

What kind of nefarious poison could clams get into?

   Without knowing when the tide would come back in, we crossed back over the stream to ensure we weren’t cut off. It was then we realized how little time we had left. Geoff quickly scoured the immediate area for more gems before we called it a morning. He found an amazing rock that looked like a turtle, but it was too large to take back, and I tossed it back to the rocks before realizing what an amazing picture it would have made. For everyone else, you'll simply have to know it as Mystery Rock X, soon to hit your local comic book stores as a concept issue. 

   We got back to the car and headed home. On the way back we were able to stop at an aptly named ‘lookout’ that was positioned right as the ridge crested the Annapolis Valley. From where we were able to take impressive pictures of the local valley area and you can really tell what the majority of people get their livelihoods around here.

That's right, outbound sales marketing!

   This would not be the last time we would venture up this way. Geoff and I already have a trip planned to Amethyst Cove on the other side of Cape Split later in the spring when the weather is cleared up. That promises to be much more exciting and possibly involve more adventurers. For now, we simply cruised back to Halifax where I had to return to work, and Geoff linked as our guest for an extra day or two.

You could smell the apple orchards, if it was the right season... and you had super enabled smelling

Another excerpt from: The Rocks Beneath

it was then we knew why the area of Cape Split was so neglected. There rested a horror so terrifying that no one could withstand its omnipresent pressure for long. It inhabited the very atmosphere of the basalt ridges; it persuaded even clams to give themselves up to it. However, something had been awoken in my traveling companion, and somehow I knew this would not be the last time we headed up the lonely highway 358, I can only hope that our sanities will be spared…

Addendum

I had hoped to add more posts to the blog than this, but it’s funny how life gets in the way. I was walking home from work last week and I fell and sprained my leg rather severely. While it’s recovered now, I haven’t been able to put much thought into a blog post despite an abundance of ideas. I’ve always wanted to include posts about food that Sarah or I have made, but it’s something that I never think of until after the finished product comes out great. This past weekend would have been the perfect opportunity as we made three loaves of bread, bread pudding, our own pizza, vegetable chowder and finally Chicken Pot Pie with homemade biscuits.

I think it is one of those learning opportunities about running a blog. It can either be a hobby, where you just post whatever you feel like whenever you feel like. It can also be a commitment, where you buckle down and declare that you will post along certain topic lines or at least according to some sort of schedule. Where this blog doesn't exactly have a feel yet, I am reluctant to put anything on concrete terms for now. 

Where I was on a more routine daily schedule or I used a book to collect thoughts, or could pin down my writing so that my posts were not 2000 word monstrosities, perhaps I could post more. In the meantime I think I will continue the way it has been going in hopes that over time I get establish a consistent writing style that will hopefully make this blog as fun to read as it is to write.